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“The Strong Buzz Guide to Planning Your Wedding!!!”

On Sunday August 17th, a few notable events happened. The India Day Parade was held on Madison Avenue. Robert De Niro celebrated a birthday, and I married a long-time permanent character here on the pages of this blog, my beloved, Craig. It took me a long time to find the guy I am happy to say I will be spending the rest of my days with, and he’s someone I feel incredibly blessed to have in my life as my partner, my editor, my love, my rock, my softy, and better half. If you’ve gotten a chance to know him at all (and I feel like some of you have), then you know how lucky I am.

Since November 18th, when he proposed on the beach in Greenport, we’ve been planning our wedding, trying to figure out how to invite our dearest friends and family to celebrate our marriage without putting ourselves, and our parents (who were generous enough to help us fund it), into bankruptcy. The thing was, that we had a very small budget and we were constrained in that I could not call in any restaurant favors for the food. Since my family is kosher, we needed to have a Glatt Kosher wedding. This was not ideal considering I was hoping for lobster rolls and a suckling pig roast on the beach somewhere. Our only other constraint was that we also needed a space that could accommodate 150 guests and we had to keep the per person costs to under $150, including food, rentals, bar, and service.

We were meticulous in finding creative ways to plan a party that was both unforgettable and affordable. We started our search and along the way, met some incredibly talented (and relatively unknown) people who came together to make our wedding the most beautiful, heartwarming, scrumptious, and memorable days of our lives.To be sure, the wedding we planned and celebrated on Sunday night took more time and effort to pull off than I had ever imagined (how we managed to do this and hold down jobs I have no idea), and in the end, somehow, everything came together and it was exquisite. I will say that the night flew by so quickly that I would like to relive Sunday if at all possible. I guess that’s what we have photos and video for.

But seriously folks, I have never been as happy as I was on Sunday evening, as our friends and families gathered together to watch us join our lives together into one, under the chuppah. It was a night that surpassed my wildest dreams. It may be that some of you are planning a wedding now, or may be planning one in the future, and I wanted to create a soup-to-nuts guide so that all of the work we did could be passed along and will hopefully become of some use to you now or sometime in the future.

Below you will find a listing of all our vendors and a recommendation on whether they should be used or not. While we did find most vendors to go beyond our expectations, a few crucial players failed miserably, and I’d like to make sure that no one reading these pages uses them and goes through what we did. I hope you will use this guide and share it with friends. As always, if you have questions, I am here to answer them.

Kool Events: Amy Kool, 212-877-5381, events@akoolevents.com

Manhattan Penthouse, 80 Fifth Avenue, between 13th and 14th Streets. Contact: Monika Nemeth, 212-627-8838.

My first thought when I envisioned my wedding was a vineyard on the North Fork. A quick run down of spaces made it clear that unless we got a book deal or a movie deal, all we could afford on the North Fork would be the IGA parking lot and that was about it. We then ruled out getting married outdoors at my dad’s country house in Katonah because rentals of tents, generators, porta-potties, and the like made the cost prohibitive. We also agreed that an outdoor wedding, while ideal, could turn into a disaster with rain and/or humidity both of which are common in the late days of summer, when we planned on getting married.

So we switched gears and decided to do the wedding in Manhattan and began searching for the right locale. I spent most of my time on New York Magazine’s very comprehensive wedding website to help find a location that would allow a kosher caterer and that would be able to accommodate 150 guests at a reasonable price. After a few phone calls to Loft 11 and Studio 450 (both beautiful raw spaces that were unfortunately way too expensive), I ran into a friend of mine who recommended Amy Kool of Kool Events.

She is a wedding planner who doesn’t charge the couple a fee. Instead, she finds you the right space for your event, and arranges for you to get a great discounted rate because of her relationships. She gets paid through a commission from the space itself. She took us to several spaces but Manhattan Penthouse was the winner—it’s a stunning loft space on 14th and 5th, with oversized floor-to-ceiling windows etched in wrought iron, polished wood floors, sweeping views of the city scape (including a breathtaking vista of the Empire State Building), a tavern-style bar and cocktail lounge with a baby grand piano, and a big kitchen that would allow for a kosher caterer. Thanks to Amy, we got an incredible deal on the space and open bar and we were in business.

On a cloudless Sunday afternoon last week, the space was drenched with golden sunlight and it was as close to getting married outside as we could have hoped for, but with the wonderful relief of that modern marvel known as Air Conditioning.

Our contact at Manhattan Penthouse was Monika Nemeth, who I cannot recommend highly enough. She’s been doing this forever and she knows her stuff. She was always available for questions and more questions (I had a lot of them), and on the day of, had everything we asked for just as we’d requested. The bridal suite was stocked with wine and champagne for us, our place cards were perfect, and our handmade signs for tables were in place on tall table stands (each one was named for a city we had visited and contained a vintage postcard from that locale). She ran a quick and efficient rehearsal of our wedding, and handled everything with dedicated professionalism. All through the night she was our point person, fetching us whatever we needed—wine, water, cocktails, tissues. She allowed us to relax and enjoy our evening without worrying. A big perk.

Chefs Table Caterers, Bruce Soffer, 212-427-1089, 917-868-7964, Chefstableltd@aol.com

As you might imagine—aside from the groom—the food was the most important part of the event for me. And I was thrown into a food world I knew nothing about. Egads! I began my search for a kosher caterer by sending an email to friends whose opinions I trusted. I got back the following recommendations: Foremost, Prestige, and Simply Divine. I called each place and left a message. Foremost and Prestige never returned my many phone calls. Not a good sign. But Simply Divine did. I spoke with the owner Judy Marlow who was very nice and we arranged to do a tasting and to meet. However, after a fine tasting (albeit one where she served a menu she knew we could not afford) she and her company dropped off the face of the earth, not returning emails or calls and failing to send a contract or a proposal. I was perplexed and very discouraged.

Another friend recommended a woman named Miriam who was an Israeli caterer. We connected and I really liked her ideas. We had a great conversation and discussed a mezze-themed buffet for dinner. She promised to send menu ideas and a proposal and then she, too, dropped off the face of the earth. After about a half-dozen emails and voicemail messages, I have yet to hear back.

Then, one afternoon before a spinning class at the gym, I was complaining about how flaky these kosher caterers were and how I had no idea where I would find a caterer I could work with who called me back and who cooked good food that “didn’t taste kosher.” I didn’t care whether the food was made from vegan spelt. I just wanted it to be fabulous and delicious. I was not interested in boiled beef or bland chicken. I wanted restaurant quality food and a careful attention to plating, seasonality and seasoning. As I continued ranting to my friends, my spinning teacher interrupted me and said: “Andrea, I have the answer. You will call my friend Bruce. He’s the best kosher caterer in the city.”

I had never heard of Bruce, but after spin class, I checked out his website, Chefs Table Caterers and read his bio, learning that he had cooked in New York City before getting into kosher catering. I checked out his menus and they sounded promising. I called him and he called me back. Very promising! A few weeks later, we met one night at Craig’s apartment and he did a tasting for us and blew us away. If I didn’t know it, I’d have NEVER pegged him as kosher. He served us a beautiful array of hors d’oeurves plated with care on lacquered Asian trays decorated with banana leaves: mini-corn arepas topped with guacamole, fat vegetable spring rolls with strawberry ginger dipping sauce, ruby red tuna tartare on crispy wonton chips, goat cheese and herb stuffed profiteroles, and smoked salmon on hand cut potato chips with wasabi “caviar,” and on and on.

We loved the snacks, but were even more impressed with the main course. Over the phone, we had discussed options and decided against a buffet or a “meat” menu, which would put us over our budget (yes, you will save money with a plated dinner!), so we decided on a salad to start, and then a fish course. That night, Bruce served a zippy Thai Salad with romaine, frisee, endive, cabbage, cucumbers, pistachios, dried apricots, and shredded seitan, and for dinner followed it up with a marinated sea bass in sake and miso (think Nobu’s black cod with miso) over soba noodles with orange-zested snow peas.

Dessert was a tray of apple crumble, which we decided would be summer blueberry at the wedding. Our wedding cake would be red velvet with cream cheese icing cupcakes, served on a tiered tower.

I’ll be honest. I was a tad nervous that the wonderful dinner we had at Craig’s apartment would be tough to replicate for 150 people the night of our wedding, but I am happy to report that he pulled it off, and then some. I was completely wowed by the food. Yes, I actually had a chance to sit down and eat, and we thought the dinner was exceptional. During the cocktail hour the trays kept on coming, in plentiful amounts and friends sought me out to comment on how good the hors d’oeurves were. And dinner was better than I could have hoped. The fish was perfect—a nice shellac of sake and miso capped pearly white flesh that was succulent and moist. It tastes like something from Le Bernardin, not from a wedding.

While I didn’t have a chance to taste the blueberry crumble many friends raved about it, and I did love the cupcakes and the surprise gift from Bruce—hand-made braided Challah roll napkin rings so each person had their own challah in addition to the one that was blessed by my Dad and sliced and passed around.

My advice to anyone who needs a kosher caterer is this. Forget the big shots who can’t take a moment to return calls or follow up. Stick with Bruce. He’s creative, passionate, and incredibly talented and he will treat your event as if it were his own. Now, he doesn’t have the support staff and bells and whistles of the big boys, so it is Bruce who will answer his phone and his own emails, but what he lacks in corporate accessories he more than makes up for in talent and in delivering what he promises. That, my friends, is priceless.

THE DRESS

Saja, 250 Elizabeth Street, 212-226-7570

I’ve always had a mental note in the back of my mind that if I were ever in the position to be getting married, I’d shop at Saja, a little Nolita boutique that I love that carries beautiful dresses. But I figured I should also see what was happening at Kleinfeld’s and Vera Wang, just because I wanted to try those over-the-top gowns on, and I knew this was my chance.

Vera Wang, as you know if you have been there, is a wonderful experience. They treat you like royalty, fetching dresses for you in the style and price range you request, without attitude or pretense. I was surprised to find dresses in the $4000 range (this is a bargain in the world of the wedding dress) as I was under the impression that they were all in around $10,000. While I found a dress that I adored, a strapless A-line gown that made me feel like I might be the most beautiful being on the planet, I was not willing to part with $4000 for a dress I would wear for one night. So I thanked my sales person (who was lovely) and headed downtown, to the wedding dress mecca known as Kleinfeld’s.

My stop at Kleinfeld’s was a trip I made more to experience the place rather than any intention to buy. Kleinfeld’s is a bridal factory, where women are cattle-prodded into fitting rooms and gowns are tossed at their feet like rice at a wedding. Unlike Vera Wang, where there is a sense of gracious hospitality, at Kleinfeld’s I felt like a cog in a wheel, one of dozens of nameless, faceless brides in search of a gown to build a dream on. I found the place to be very cold and factory-like. But I also had a few friends who had gotten gorgeous gowns from them so I tried to remain open minded.

After waiting in the main room for my name to be called, I was introduced to a tall thin dark-haired woman who would be my sales person for the hour that my appointment was allotted. While she smiled upon meeting me, her expression turned to a snarl when she heard that my budget was $2000. “Well, I don’t know why you’re here. We don’t really have much for you,” she said, with indignation. When I asked her if she’d rather me leave than stay, she gave me a grudging, “No, I’ll do my best,” like a doctor faced with a half-dead, hopeless case.

As she brought gowns to my room, she scolded me to hurry up in getting in and out of my dresses because I only had an hour with her. Quite frankly she was mean, and she pretty much sucked all the joy out of shopping for a wedding dress. Which is a shame because I did find a dress I like very much (priced at around $3000), there was no way I was going to buy anything from that, well, bitch. I left and headed straight down to Saja, where I was hopeful that I would find something. I did.

In addition to a line of dresses, skirts, pants, and flirty tops, Saja carries a bridal line that includes lovely bridesmaids dresses and one or two wedding dresses. When I arrived they had one dress left in my size and it had me written all over it. The dress was a floor-length ivory gown made from layers of sheer gauzy chiffon, with an empire waist etched with silver beads in the shape of leafy garlands and spaghetti straps. It was light, airy, and flowy, like the dress of a Greek Goddess. In fact, a few people told me I looked like a Greek Goddess at our wedding. I was pretty psyched.

Greek Goddess or not, it was so pretty, and very comfortable, and fit perfectly aside from the length (which we’ll get to under Tailors to Never Use). At $600, it was the perfect dress. I knew I would wear it again, and I was already counting the days until I would wear it for the first time.

Karen Carlucci Floral Design, 917-886-2519, KCG122@aol.com, and Steve Geldman, Urban Flora Design.

My first thought when I considered flowers and the chuppah was that I would do them myself. Our wedding budget was so small, and I figured I can do this. I’ll go to a deli and get some nice sunflowers and call it a day. As for the chuppah, Craig and I thought we’d go to Home Depot and buy four poles and drape some fabric over the top and just make our own. The more time we spent with these DIY ideas and the more weddings we attended, the more we realized how central the chuppah and the flowers are to the ceremony and the photos, the more we questioned our self-reliance. We pictured my pathetic hand-made bouquets and our makeshift chuppah dipping down on one side looking like something a ten year old made in sleepaway camp for an overnight. And so we (thankfully) reconsidered and hired a professional.

Luckily, through my friend Heather Carlucci, we found her mom, Karen Carlucci of Carlucci Floral Design and her frequent collaborator, Steve Geldman of Urban Flora Design (he’s been in the business for 15 years doing events for places like NYC Opera and the like), who signed on to do our flowers within our budget and promised we would not be sorry. We were not. Quite the opposite. We were overjoyed.

Steve takes all his brides to the flower market to choose flowers that are not only in season but that truly reflect the personality and taste of the bride. So a few weeks before the wedding we met in the flower market on 28th and Sixth and had a great time sorting through flowers and choosing the ones that felt right—lots of long white buttercups, young buds and vines of leafy greenery. I really had no idea how they would look in bouquets but I knew individually I loved them. As it turns out, he and Karen created the most lovely, fresh, and pretty bouquets—lose and wild, not tight and contained—along with boutonnieres and a chuppah crafted from white birch trees wrapped in ivy garlands and draped with ivory muslin (from Heather’s wedding, something borrowed), and the talissim of our dearly departed grandfathers. It created a stunning, moving and spiritual centerpiece for the ceremony that was truly beautiful and set the tone for the entire space.

I was deeply touched and wildly impressed by the way Karen and Steve listened to what I wanted and created exactly to the “T” what was in my mind, without me quite even knowing for sure what I was asking for. I really communicated with them mostly about a feeling that I wanted to create in the room—light, airy, ethereal, and far away. They got it.

DJ Matty Stuart, 212-712-6586, 917-273-4780, mattyd@mdmusicdj.com

We were looking for a DJ, not a band, and we found Matty Stuart through a friend of ours. And I am so glad we did. We loved working with Matty. He’s got years of experience and has done many weddings in addition to spinning at a private club. What we really appreciated about Matty was his careful attention to our likes and dislikes and his concern about making our wedding reflective of our musical tastes, not his. We made a point of asking him to start out with some songs from our parents’ generation, and then build up to more high-energy party music later on, to allow for everyone to enjoy the night. We also asked for a more gentle approach to the volume, so as not to shatter any eardrums or prevent conversation.

Matty was a great MC and host, and followed our wishes completely, playing songs we had asked for and leaving out the ones that we really did not want to be played. He’s very professional and easy to work with, and extremely reliable. He gave us a ton of time, with several in person meetings prior to the big day to make sure all our ducks were in a row, and he made the wedding a fantastic party.

 

HAIR AND MAKEUP

Emily Kate Warren, 646-326-4493, ekw@emilykatewarren.com

I have the fortune of meeting some great people when I teach my food writing classes, and last year, I met a young woman who was a hair and makeup artist in the fashion and television business. Emily had worked on pilots and worked the runway shows in addition to editorial shoots and was taking my class to try and channel her love of food into a side career as a food writer. When Craig and I got engaged and I started my search for a makeup and hair artist (I realized early on that I owed it to the photos to have myself professionally beautified), I gave Emily a call. Her rates were reasonable and as I learned, her work is flawless.

She turned me into a Greek Goddess with flowers in my hair and a warm, smooth, rosy glow in my cheeks that I have never seen before. She’s a ton of fun to work with, and is also extremely easy in terms of accepting feedback and wanting to get the look to not only please her but to please you, too. Ladies, she’s the best. I wish I could use her every week.

BRIDE’S MAID’S GIFTS

Blueluxe.com

For a beautiful selection of unique handcrafted semi-precious jewelry (earrings, bracelets, necklaces, rings, and more) with something for every style and personality, check out Blueluxe.com. They send all their gifts in pretty blue boxes tied with ribbon and have an easy return policy if anything is not what you imagined. I loved their stuff and found pieces that reflected each of my friends' individual styles.

 

THE HOTEL

The Carlton Hotel, 88 Madison Avenue, b/w 28th and 29th Streets. Contact: Liza Lipstein, 646-472-3640, llipstein@carltonhotelny.com

We needed a place to house all of our out of town wedding guests and the Carlton, a beautiful old hotel recently renovated by David Rockwell, was our choice for convenience to the space and also price. Their rates were half of those at the W Union Square and they also allowed us to reserve as many rooms as we needed, whereas other hotels had a limit. While we enjoyed working with Liza and her sales team, and found them to be very thorough at the initial planning and booking stage, we eventually learned the hotel back office staff is in need of help.

Initially, our guests’ in-room gift bags (filled with 71 Irving coffee, One Girl Cookies, and Zapp’s potato chips) were delivered to the wrong wedding party. When we alerted them to this issue, they started delivering the correct gift bags, but also included the gift bags of the other wedding couple in the hotel. I felt very badly that the other wedding couples’ bags were going to my guests. I called the manager and told them about the bag mix up, and every day they assured us that they would fix the problem and that the correct gift bags would be delivered to the correct party. And yet the next day, the same problem. This issue was never resolved. Even when I checked into my suite, I found Tiffany’s gift addressed to Gail and Jeremy. When I went next door to the suite to say hello to the bride whose gifts I was receiving (and to give her the gift), it was coincidentally Gail Simmons from Top Chef, which was really funny and really nice.

In addition to the gift bag mix ups, there were several other issues relating to payment for rooms that were not handled appropriately. Our stay at the Carlton was pretty trying. But I will say that the rooms (especially the suites) were gorgeous and that while they could not seem to grasp that I was Andrea and Gail was Gail, they were very sorry about the mix up and when Craig and I arrived at our hotel room in the Berkshires for a few nights away, they had arranged for two complimentary massages on them. Hopefully they will be more careful in the future because the property is really so beautiful and the hotel should take more care with the details of their guests.

THE REHEARSAL DINNER

Chinatown Brasserie, 380 Lafayette Street, corner of Great Jones. Contact: Marie Lyons, 212-220-4110 x27, marie@chinatownbrasserie.com

We could not have been happier with the food, the atmosphere, or the service at Chinatown Brasserie where we had our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. We had about 80 people for drinks and passed dim sum to start, and then a big Chinese buffet feast for dinner. The place is big and roomy, with large banquettes in addition to lounge seating for easy mixing and mingling.

Working with Marie was a pleasure. We had a few folks who were vegan, a few people with serious food allergies that concerned us and she took care of us without issue. In addition, there was a microphone for speeches, which made that part of the evening very easy. No shouting needed. If you need a private room that can seat up to 110 for a rehearsal dinner, and you’re a fan of really good Chinese food, you need look no further.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

Jori Klein Photography, (646) 279-5890, joriklein@gmail.com

Jori!!! We loved Jori. She is a photo-journalist by trade but she's also recently started doing weddings on her own and honestly, she was a godsend. Being that we had a budget, we were precluded from using a lot of the "more experienced" photographers our friends had recommended. David Wanderman was my first choice, but his experience warrants him a fee we could not afford, and after speaking with a few more referrals, we realized he was the going rate and that the going rate was going to be an issue for us. That’s when we found Jori.

A friend of Craig’s had used her for a work event and loved her. We set up a meeting and learned that she was often a “second shooter” for weddings, but that she had just started out on her own. Since we don’t have the photos yet, we can’t really give you a final grade on Jori, but we loved working with her (she is a delight) and have a good feeling that the photos will be quite beautiful.

THE VIDEOGRAPHER

Wes Jones, 917-568-3718, wes@filmjones.com

Again, while we have not seen the final product from Wes, it’s hard to give him a hearty two thumbs up without seeing the DVD. But we loved his aesthetic (Super 8) and were drawn to his work after watching some sample films on his website. He’s very committed to the work and treats your day like a little indie film. We’ll fill you in when we get the DVD and let you know how it turns out.

RED ALERT:

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES USE THE FOLLOWING VENDORS

TAILOR/ALTERATIONS: Wilfred Tailors, 20 West 23rd Street, near 5th Avenue

Wilfred was recommended to me by the folks at Saja and was also listed in MUG and New York Magazine as among the best tailors in the city. I beg to differ. I needed a slip and bra cups sewn into my dress in addition to having it shortened. When I came back to try the dress on, the cups were the wrong size (my fault) so I had them removed. When I came back to see it without the cups, he had removed the slip instead of the cups. When I came back a third time, he had sewn the slip in backwards and I had to wait for him to sew it in the right way. Then when I finally got to trying the dress on, he had “forgotten” to hem it. When I asked him why it was not shorter he told me I had not asked him to hem the dress and accused me of lying to him. When I showed him my receipt he was still ranting that I was wrong. Finally, he read his own handwriting and said, “Oh, well, yes, I was supposed to hem it.” He never said the words “I am sorry,” nor did he offer to discount the work.

When I came back three days before the wedding to pick up the dress, the hem was not short enough, I was tripping on the dress, and the sewing was shoddy, with loose threads dangling. Instead of him redoing it again (which would require another hour-long commute on the F train, my fifth so far), I took the dress home and gave it to my local Smith Street dry cleaner (Downtown Cleaners) where Kim finished the hem beautifully for a mere $43. Wifred charged me $250 and did not refund my money. Do yourself a favor and never (and I mean NEVER) use this tailor. His work was terrible, his attitude was worse and the entire experience was abysmal. Stay away!!!

PRINTING/DESIGNING—PRINT ICON, 7 W 18th St, (212) 255-4489

We had written our wedding program (a hilarious play in seven acts written by Craig) and needed a shop to do a quick design and printing of it. We’d heard good things about Print Icon, the design and print shop right next to City Bakery on 18th Street and decided to bring our wedding program to them to design and print. This was HUGE mistake. How shall I put this? This place was a disaster. Our designer appeared to be on sedatives most of the time, and she could barely muster more than a whisper when she talked to us about our thoughts for the program. Honestly, it seemed that we were keeping her awake. We left her with our Word file of the text of the program and she promised to show us a few designs in two days time. Five days later we got a call that they could not find our email address to email us the proofs (it was on our receipt in their system) and that they didn’t have a credit card for our deposit (also information that was on our invoice in their system). Apparently, they cannot look up information they already have.

On the positive side, our designer sent us a nice design, but she had somehow reversed our families, naming Craig’s parents as mine and vice versa. Not a big deal except that this took two days to correct. In addition, she could not grasp that the font needed to be of a size large enough that people without the gift of bionic vision might be able to read it. The proofs were never ready in a timely manner and the number of corrections we had to make and font size adjustments that she could not wrap her head around were enough to drive us to drink.

The only way to explain their complete lack of understanding of what we wanted that I can think of is that everyone at Print Icon is smoking pot quite regularly. I’d say morning, noon and night—and I mean big time as in passing around a bong instead of morning coffee. Either that or that no one there really has the desire to pay attention to details and take good care of their clients. A job that was supposed to be done and ready in a week took almost three weeks to accomplish. In the end, it was done right, but for what I had to go through to get it right, I’d have used my web designer Andrew Almeter.

The moral of this story is, always plan ahead. Make sure you allow for double the time you need for everything. It wasn’t only the dress and the program that took more time than we thought. We were burning CDs for our guests and came up against an iTunes glitch (you can’t burn more than 7 CDs of the same playlist) and had to figure out how to get around it. (Email me and I’ll tell you.) Everything takes longer than you think and projects that you think will be simple will not be. Leave yourself extra time for everything and follow the list of vendors above (and stay away from those on the RED ALERT list) and you should do fine.

But when all is said and done (and written), the most important thing about your wedding is the person standing next to you, holding your hand under the altar, the chuppah, or wherever you choose to declare your love for one another. If all goes well, that person will still be holding your hand for decades to come, when the rest of the details that seemed so important at the time have all fallen away.

And now... a few photos (better ones from the real photographer, soon!)

Before the Ceremony.... 

 

Our first dance (awww...) 

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Posted: August 24, 2008

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