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“The Orchard”


  Occasion: Cuisine: Area: Cost: Rating:
  Night Out New American Lower East Side Moderate Great

MY DINNER AT THE ORCHARD

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of “searching.” We are all, it seems, searching for something. Whether it's something completely mundane—the perfect shower curtain (Jonathan Adler), the best lip gloss (Fresh Lip Shine in Nova), a great pair of jeans (AGs)—or something more essential—true love, a rewarding career, a sense of inner peace, a perfect meal—we all yearn and search. Sometimes in vain, and sometimes not.

These days, I find myself searching not for love, not for inner peace, but for something more readily attainable: real estate. (Specifically a one-bedroom apartment in the Union Square area.) After my 36 years of life, I have come to a point where I want a home of my own, a place where there is door that leads to somewhere other than the bathroom, a pad where I actually have to unplug my vacuum cleaner to cover the entire apartment, a joint where I don’t run the risk of a brutal bruising just by virtue of standing up and walking around. And so my search has begun. I am online every day riffling through listings, hoping to find my one bedroom Mr. Right amid the fray. “This one looks good,” I think. The photos are great, the buzzwords are there—spacious, light-filled, a true find! And then every Sunday, as I traipse from open house to open house, I find frauds. Apartments that claim to be sunny and spacious are dingy and minute; places that advertise charm and hard wood floors present with old paint jobs and stinky moldy carpet. I am overwhelmed by highly desirable listings that are complete shams, one bedrooms in name only—dark, closet sized rooms large enough for a twin bed, bathrooms that require acrobatics to reach the shower, kitchens without stoves or refrigerators.

Believe me, the parallels between the world of real estate and the world of dating are not lost on me. Are we all trying to lie our way into being chosen, afraid that the truth will leave us on the market forever? Maybe. But, let me tell you, it’s enough to drive you to drink. And I already drink! So, friends, it seems that the search for my dream home may have to be shelved until the market softens, perhaps when sustainably raised Berkshire pig’s start to fly around the city.

... [more, click below]

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Other restaurants in Lower East Side :
+ Mojo   + WD-50   + Schiller's Liquor Bar   + Azul Bistro   + Barrio Chino   + 71 Clinton Fresh Food-- Closed   + Little Giant   + Kuma Inn   + Falai   + The Stanton Social   + The Tides   + Thor   + The Orchard   + El Bocadito-- CLOSED   + Bondi Road   + Rayuela   + Suba   + Bun (boone)   + Sorella   + The Fat Hippo   + Pulino's   


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